You Might Be a Farm Wife If….

  • lawn maintenance or garden prep involves a tractor and large implement hooked behind it
  • you have recipes that call for butter by the “stick”
  • you have successfully engaged 3rd gear in the old International 1086 tractor (especially if you grew up as a John Deere girl)
  • your car always contains a  pliers, knife, and electric fence insulators
  • you use the phrase “semen tank” in casual conversation
  • the kids have ever been dropped off or picked up from school in a tractor
  • you can back up a horse trailer to a gate on the first try (OK, I would be disqualified at this one)
  • 1200 feet of garden hose does not seem like overkill
  • your mudroom has a floor drain
  • it is necessary to remind the husband that customer appreciation night at the local co-op does NOT count as date night
  • ….and neither does 4-H achievement night
  • you have ever used a garden hose to wash off a child and/or their clothes before letting them in the house

I would love to hear from other farm wives–what should I add to this list?

11 thoughts on “You Might Be a Farm Wife If….

  1. If you have ever that the “bull and cow” talk with you’re children instead of the “birds and bees”!

  2. – you have medication in refrigerator that states “withdraw is 21 days for slaughter”!
    – semen has actually been extended at your kitchen table!
    – you have to leave the front off your washer because the drain screen needs cleaned that often!
    -any vacation involves at least one cruise thru an implement dealership lot!
    – your kids can fluently discuss aritificail insemination at the dinner table!

    And I tried the cow and bull talk with my kids instead of the birds and bees – I wasn’t so successful –

    This is fun to read and we had fun coming up with more! THANKS

  3. You know what a slip clutch is and how to slip the clutch
    Are proud when your son can identify the female reproductive track
    Were considered marriage material when you pulled pigs instead of making the movie on a date

    Your one washing off with a hose is so true.

  4. Not a farmwife (yet), but I can totally relate to this based on my life growing up on a farm. Here are a few more to add to the list.

    – you can not only name each cow by name, but who her mother, full and half sisters are
    – you’ve sacrificed at least 1 pair of rubber boots in order to extract your children from the barnyard muck when they ‘get off the cement’
    – your children were embarrassed when you showed up in ‘barn clothes’ to pick them up from school

  5. -When your son gets all puffed up when he pulls up to youth group church meeting in a J.D. tractor after helping dad in the field and was told to take it home afterwards. That kid grew a foot that day
    -when your husband ask you what you have planned for the day. Choose your words wisely. He is not asking for a date!
    -when husband thinks irrigating is quality family time.
    -husband comes in the house and announces “I brought you something!” turns out to a seed corn jacket and you are actually happy about it.

    1. I love these! I’m working on a follow up post that features the comments other people left–these will definitely be added.

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