Fence Post Diaries

The quest for the perfect Christmas tree is fairly universal.

The definition of “perfect” differs from person to person. In our house you will find “straight”, “cheap”, and “big” as preferred adjectives. Each of those words comes from a different person, of course.

After years of cheap trees that were crooked with bald spots, I finally put my foot down and insisted our next Christmas tree come from a local tree farm.

On the chosen day to pick a tree, I did not go along. My only edict was that I wanted a straight tree. Son #1 wanted a big tree. His brothers agreed. Hubby talked the boys into a “medium” sized one. (Guess who was the “cheap” advocate?)

This is what they came home with.

After using the chain saw to pare down the trunk enough to fit inside he tree stand, they brought the “medium” tree into the house and stood it up.

“It didn’t look that big outside.” (Our ceiling is 12′ tall at the peak).

There was a lot of engineering at work. Even after it fit into our tree stand, it was too heavy to stay upright. Hubby grabbed a board and bolted it to the trunk to keep the tree from crashing backward into the large picture window.

A rope was strung over to one of the legs of the buffet to keep the tree from falling to the right.

I stopped them when I found fishing line being attached to the curtain rods.

At this point, I was very unsure about the whole situation, but was trying to be a good sport. The decorations started to go on the tree. It soon became obvious that this might be the most crooked tree we had ever gotten to date.

This was straight out of a scene in a certain Chevy Chase movie.

All of the furniture in the room had be be adjusted to make room for the monster tree. Moving around meant stepping over ropes, boards or trying to not touch the tree and accidentally tip it over.

After a week, I called it quits.

A normal-sized, straight tree that stands without additional support has taken its place.

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!