Fence Post Diaries

Those of you that are regular readers know that I have three sons. No daughters. Just sons.

I was always a tomboy and never a ‘girly’ girl. So, I thought that if anyone could adjust to living with all these males, it was me.

I was wrong.

Even a tomboy brain like mine does not process things the same way as boys. Some examples:

Farting is always funny

I was working on my computer while standing at the kitchen island. Son 3 ran up the stairs, clearly on a mission. When he reached the top, he yelled Son 1’s name (Son 1 was sitting in the living room). When he had the attention of older brother, son 3 proceeded to twist his body sideways and release a long, loud, gaseous emission. He was incredibly amused with himself and looked toward brother for approval, only to notice that brother was looking into the kitchen – at me.

Son 3 looked my way and immediately realized he probably should quit giggling. He put a serious expression on his face and barely choked out “Excuse me…” before running back down the steps. I managed to keep the smile off my face until neither one was looking at me.

Mom should stay out of the way when brothers pick on each other

Earlier this summer, we proceeded through our normal July routine of  filling the pool. Leveling the sand, cleaning the liner, and patching holes all preceded the final step of adding water. On the very hot day of this task, the boys reveled in the cold water coming out of the hose as the first few inches filled the pool.

The heat of the day quickly warmed that little bit of water and son #2 laid down in it to cool off. Son #3 kept spraying him with cold water from the hose which led to many arguments and shouting.

I finally banished Son #3 from the pool to come with me and check on the condition of the inflatable toys. We spent 10 or 15 minutes looking for holes and filling said toys. After an appropriate amount of time, I finally let him go back to the pool to rejoin his brother.

It only took a minute for him to return to the garage and report that his brother was no longer in the pool. A quick peek in the house showed Son #2 acting bored. When asked why he was in the house, he said it was no fun in the pool by himself.

Sigh.

Mom lesson learned. Leave the boys to their ‘fighting’ until blood appears.

Do not ask questions unless you really want to know…

Shortly before a school concert last spring, I hollered downstairs to the boys “We leave in 15 minutes!”. I overheard, “Quick-we have to get the syrup out of my hair”.

I let them deal with it and we arrived at the concert sans syrupy locks. I still have no idea what happened or why.

It is better that way.

A picture that perfectly describes life with  young males…

In case you did not know, boys like to take everything apart. Everything.

 

Another reason to never ask questions….

One evening I walked into the garage for a purpose that I can no longer remember.

I noticed 3 young male humans acting like they were completely innocent — a posture that immediately arouses the suspicion of moms everywhere.

I was also greeted by a spoiled kitten and a chicken perched on the edge of a cardboard box.

There was no smoke, blood, or sharp objects visible. It also appeared that the kitten was not being trained to hunt the chicken (who would have completely kicked kitty’s butt anyway). I walked by all of them, grabbed a beer from the shelf and went back in the house.

Everyone was happy.

The end.