$@!% Farm Moms Say

The unique challenges of raising children on a farm or ranch include some strange sentences–ones that I am sure are uttered by no other women than farm moms…

-You cannot show a baby raccoon at the county fair.
-Take it back outside.
-No really, I don’t think the extension office will add a raccoon class. Take it back outside.

-Go outside and pee. I just cleaned the bathroom.

-You have to choose between football camp and shooting sports.

-Give that apple back to the horse

-No, the bull is not trying to play leapfrog with the cow.
-Go talk to your dad.

-Is it show-and-tell-day at school?
-What is in that bag?

-What is that behind momma kitty you ask?
-Um…well…it is a kitten…
-Yes, the kitten is just being born.
-Yes, the kitten is fine….see, it is meowing already.
-How did the kitten get there?
-Go talk to your dad.

-You are so lucky you have chores.
-Really, someday you will know you lucky you are.

-You do realize this animal is not a pet and we are probably going to eat it someday.
-You do?
-You are brushing her because you heard about Japanese beef and how good it tastes because the calves get massaged every day.
-Carry on.

-No, the calf is not trying to eat its mother’s tummy.
-Dad told you to talk to me about that didn’t he?

What did I miss? Add your suggestions in the comments!


About jheem

I grew up on a diversified dairy farm in southeast South Dakota where I learned how to throw a hay bale, pull a calf, deal with death, and "name" the cows. I was in 4H and FFA, and was privileged to serve as a state FFA officer. In college, I studied animal science, focusing on beef cows, mostly because I figured they were less work than dairy cows....I ended up with a Masters Degree in ruminant nutrition and went to work for the University of Nebraska, first as a research tech coordinating data collection for a swine unit and beef feedlot on a research farm and then as an extension educator. In my current job, I focus on environmental issues related to animal agriculture (which is a nice way of saying I talk about manure alot). My husband and I live and work on a seedstock cattle operation in northeast Nebraska. You can learn more about our cattle operation by visiting my husband's blog at http://aldersonangus.wordpress.com.
This entry was posted in Farm wife survival guide and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to $@!% Farm Moms Say

  1. Leslie says:

    I love the “pee” one. It sounds just like my house.

  2. I like the one about going outside to pee because I just cleaned the bathroom. 🙂

  3. Marla Huwaldt says:

    I about peed myself reading this one. I can hear ALL of these comments with your boys around! Gotta love em!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s